Calling all the Monsters

In October Kaylee and a couple of her friends participated in a dance clinic put on by the Kingsley Jr. High School Dance Team. 

Kaylee and her friends Ava and Grace.

Dancing at half-time.

This was the dance team member, Gena, who was Kaylee's group coach. Ironically I work with Gena's Mom and went to Jr. High and High School with her.

The girls did a great job and it was really fun to watch!

Little Green Bowl

Every morning, during the work week, I hug my family good-bye, wish them a great day, tell them I love them and to my girls I tell them I will see them when they get off the bus in the afternoon. I leave them to get dressed, brush teeth and eat breakfast with their Daddy; then I go into the garage to get in the van and leave to go to work. Every morning that I do this I see a little green bowl on some shelves. How that little green bowl got there or what it is currently being used for, I don't know. I do know, however, what it was used for once upon a time.

That bowl was once used to mix the first rice cereal my girls would eat. The bowl graduated to holding such precious items as sweet potatoes, pears, peas, plums and eventually cheerios and puffs. It's a bowl that brings these memories back to my mind and to my heart every morning that I get into my van. It's something that reminds me of where we once were, where we are now, and think of where we are going.

The little green bowl has strangely become part of my morning routine. It's become a comfort to me and makes me smile. Although some days I would like to hit a rewind button and have that bowl back in my cupboard I enjoy it on the shelf. As I said before I don't know what it's current use is, but I know the warmth it brings to my heart. While it was once used to help me nourish my children, it now helps to nourish my soul.

Thankful

The turkey has been carved and the cranberries passed. Another great Thanksgiving is over. I love this time of year, not just because the extra days off of work but because of the reflection that happens as we stop and reflect on all that we have to be thankful for.

I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful to God for all of the blessings He has bestowed upon me. I am thankful for a kind and supportive husband who protects us, provides for us and always puts us first. Two beautiful and healthy girls who challenge me and have taught me more about love and being selfless then I ever thought possible. I'm thankful for  a warm home, cars to take us where we need to be and food to keep us energized.

I am thankful for wonderful parents who support us and help us with our girls. Thankful for a Mom who loves to shop as much as I do, who knows my girls as well as I do and who has always stood by my side and never left me. I am thankful for a Dad who connects with my girls through humor and comes to tumbling almost every Monday to get some time with them. I am thankful for siblings and their spouses that we have so much fun with whether it be traveling or game nights. I am thankful that we have turned from siblings to friends and that they love our kids dearly.

I am thankful for cousins who are friends and who have blessed me with an adorable Godson.

I am thankful for friends, friends that have been with me for over 1/2 my life and friends who have come into my life as an adult.

I am thankful for a dog who keeps my feet warm while I watch TV or read the paper.

I am thankful for memories and wisdom of those who came before me and are now watching from above.

The list could go on and on. My heart runneth over!!

I hope that as you gathered with your loved ones you took a moment, or two, to reflect on what you are thankful for and that some of what you were thankful for was with you.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Happy Halloween!!

Hard to believe Halloween has come and gone and we are well on our way to Thanksgiving! This year for Halloween Kaylee chose to be a sock-hop girl and Ainsley chose Blueberry Muffin. Our Halloween festivities started with the traditional Towanda Elementary School parade.

All of the classes and teachers parade around the block. When they get back to the school they do a big school photo.

This year I am Ainsley's class co-room parent. After the parade the classes have their room parties. We did a craft, a game and had a snack.

Ainsley's kindergarten class. Her teacher dressed as Pinkalicious. A favorite of ours!

After school we went up to my Dad and Sallie's and had dinner. All the grandkids posed for the traditional photo by the big jack-o-lantern. I think this was the best I got of all 7 mostly looking at the camera:).

My girls! 

We did some trick-or-treating and headed home. I wish that they would just make Halloween the last Saturday in October so that it didn't have to be on a school night. Although it was a little chilly they still got a pretty good loot!

Unfair!

I haven't posted in awhile, huh? I have a few in progress with fun fall photos and all but haven't quite got them completed. I don't know that I like that this next post of mine, especially since it's been awhile since my last post, but I'm in a "LIFE'S UNFAIR" funk right now.

I realize that we all suffer from things that make us feel life isn't fair sometimes. It could be an illness, a situation, a disorder or just those everyday hurdles that can make us feel like we are drowning in the sea of unfairness. Being involved in St. Jude I get weekly updates that remind me that life isn't always fair.

Lately on Facebook there have been pages for children battling diseases when they should be out riding bikes, or sitting and playing with toys. Another reminder that life isn't fair.

Tonight after work I went to a visitation for a man who was barely 48 years old. A man whom has 3 children and a wife whom he married in 1985. A man who farmed and was loved by many. A man who was a kid at heart and do anything for anyone. I babysat his children and he and his wife have been good friends with my parents for many years. He came home from harvesting on Sunday, took a nap and never woke up.

Unfair!

These situations make me so grateful for healthy kids and cherish our family times together. They are screaming at me saying "Hey! It doesn't matter if you are 3, 7, 22, 54, 98 or 48 time is not something you are guaranteed! Health is not something you are guaranteed!" And we aren't. I don't know if we are guaranteed anything?

I do know that we have choices. We can choose to feel the pain and deal with the pain in these unfair moments. We can choose to remember the good and take peace in the joy. We can choose to cherish the moments we have with our loved ones and not take them for granted. When we are running late and feel like we are hitting every light and getting stuck behind every slow driver we can choose to slow down and enjoy the ride.

We have the ability to make the choice to live life to the fullest. We have the ability to choose what is important to us. While I think even all of that ability to choose we will still feel and see those unfair moments in life we can choose to recognize that sometimes life is unfair. Although I believe that God has a plan for all of us and I try my best to always have faith in that plan, sometimes I just feel life isn't fair.

A Little Catch-up~

Although I have a couple posts I'm currently working on I'm just not quite ready with those yet but I can still do some quick hits to catch everyone up. So what have we been up to?

• Brad got a new job!! He is moving over to Corporate South to be a Manager in ESA. What is that exactly? I don't really know. What I do know is he will be managing analysts. That really explains it all, huh? The important thing is he knows what he will be doing. He has also been accepted to Leadership of McLean County. It's a program for people in McLean County. For those who work for State Farm they have to be nominated and supported by the Executive office and go through an interview process. He will be doing a variety of projects within McLean County with other McLean Countians (new word) every other Friday. I'm very excited for him and very proud of him!! He is doing a lot of great things!

• Ainsley was chosen as Student of the Week on Friday. They pick one student for each grade each week. They announce them at their Friday assemblies, they get a certificate, a gift certificate for a Kid's Meal from LaGandola and their picture displayed in the hallway. Ainsely's certificate said she was Student of the Week for showing responsibility. She is doing so great in school and absolutely loves it. We are so proud of her and all of the great work she is doing!

• Kaylee is doing well in school thus far too. She had a hard week this week. The Student Council elections were this week at school. Students in 1st-5th Grade are eligible to run. The 5th Graders run for actual offices. They do posters in the hall and speeches in front of the whole school. The other grades read speeches to their own classes and they vote 1 boy and 1 girl from each class to be their representatives. Last year Kaylee was elected. This year she wanted to run again but some of her friends were discouraging her from running because they said she won last year and they thought she would win again and they didn't think that was fair. Kaylee was torn because she wanted to run but didn't want anyone to be mad at her. We had lots of talks about why it's important to follow you heart and that we knew it felt bad to feel like your friends would be mad at you. She thought about it for a night and decided she was going to run. She worked on her speech and turned it in. Friday she went to school to give her speech. Friday was early dismissal so I went to pick the girls up from school. I found Ainsley and soon enough Kaylee came out, saw me and started crying and running toward me. I knew that meant she didn't win:(. She was heartbroken! I felt so bad for her. I told her how proud I was of her for following her heart and doing her best. We got in the van and headed into town to run some errands. The whole way in she cried and cried. We did a lot of talking and got to the mall. I got the girls smoothies and a new pair of shoes. Retail therapy seem to work. She was still bummed but was feeling better. Sigh.

• Me? I'm keeping busy keeping up with the above mentioned people. This year I'm co-leading Ainsley's Daisy group and am again chairing the Deck The Halls event at the school for the PTO. Work is good but crazy some days. Change! Change! Change! It's a coming our way. Some things we know some things we don't. It's an interesting time and I like aiding in the planning, implementation and training. 

Life is good. We are keeping busy and loving the weather. We had a great family weekend this weekend. We participated in the Autism walk to help support our buddy Satchel. We did some shopping and even cooked a big turkey for Sunday dinner. Yep, life is good!

I'm tired, I'm torn....I'm blessed

I'm tired. Lately, just tired. Working full time. Getting up early to go to work so I can be home to meet the bus. Meet the bus, snack, clean out backpacks and lunch boxes. Some days try to fit in a workout, do dinner, showers/baths bedtime.

I'm tired.

Light cleaning of the house during the week and maintain by keeping picked-up, our laundry during the week, the girls laundry on the weekend and deeper cleaning on the weekend. Don't get me started on the dog:)

I'm tired.

PTO meetings, chairing school events, Co-leading Ainsley's Daisy troop, taking Kaylee to her Brownie activities, getting girls to tumbling class. Soon dance class will start too.

I'm tired.

Seeing all of the political posts and cartoons, listening to commentary and speeches. Exhausting!

Seeing people at the store using their Link cards to buy high priced items and junk food and then using their money to buy the all important alcohol and cigarettes. Annoyed!

Listening to people blame their life choices on others and not taking accountability. Annoyed, again!

Why so annoyed? Because I'm tired. I'm working and doing the best to keep a good life balance. Cooking healthy meals for my children, keeping them on routines and teaching them things like accountability. I've worked hard to get a good education, I've overcome obstacles in my life and although I still have things I personally battle that have been done and over for many years now I am responsible for my choices and my actions. I'm doing the needed things to support my family and yet each paycheck money is removed to help pay for someone else. Not to say that all of those receiving assistance are not worthy and shouldn't be helped but on some days it's more than I can take.

This leaves me torn. I'm torn because I believe in helping others. We are involved in St. Jude, we support cancer and autism and many other great programs and organizations. We donate canned goods, toys, clothes and other items of needs to local organizations. So I'm torn at times when I see people utilizing services that have been afforded to them.

I'm blessed. I'm blessed because of all, well most, of the reasons I'm tired. I'm blessed because I have a house to clean and healthy children to take care of. I'm blessed because they have a great school I can be involved with and a job that makes it very easy for me to be involved and allow me flexibility to be here when they get home from school, and Brad to be here to get them on the bus, and to be home with them when they are sick.

I'm blessed because I've had parents who afforded me the opportunity to go to school and get a good education. They supported and encouraged that in my life.

I'm blessed that my girls are willing to help me with chores by clearing the table, help doing dishes, cleaning their rooms and putting their clothes away. I'm blessed that they only complain sometimes and that they feel pride in helping and accomplishing things. I'm blessed that they enjoy school and have nice friends.

When all is said and done I love my life and I love my family. The three people that I start and end each day with, and even the dog too:), make it a VERY happy and blessed life.

I know in my heart of hearts my struggles are nothing compared to what others are going through. So even when I'm tired, and feeling torn, I try to put things in perspective, sometimes it's easier to do this than others, and remind myself of how blessed I am.

First Day of School 2012

The first day of school finally arrived! The girls were excited. Kaylee to see all of her friends and Ainsley to finally be at the "big kid" school. 

Photo of their backpacks. Thank you, Mee-Maw!!

Our 2nd grader all ready to go!

Sisters

Our big Kindergartner!

Ainsley wanted a photo of the back of her backpack.

Silly picture! Let's go Bulldogs!

Ainsley and one of her buddies from Montessori. They aren't in the same Kindergarten class but still get to have lunch and recess together.

All the kids lined up with their classes. Time to blow kisses and waive bye to Mom's and Dad's.

Time for 2nd grade to head into school.

I watched them go in, walked back to my van and cried a few tears:). They had a great first day! Ainsley loves riding the bus and it's fun to listen to them talk about their days. I think it's going to be a good year!

Grieving

Okay so "Grieving" might not be the most appropriate name for this post. It's not grieving over someone who has died. It's more about children growing up. Ainsley Isabella started Kindergarten this week. Yep, my baby is now a school-ager. She is a full-fledged kid. My first baby, Kaylee McKenna? She headed into 2nd Grade. Both healthy, happy and excited for their new adventures. So why the title of "Grieving"?

Well I remember when Kaylee was a baby and I was rocking and feeding her before bed, she was less than 2 months old, I was looking at her and started to cry (my hormones could have possibly been in overdrive) thinking that although she would always be my Kaylee she, as I was looking at her then, wouldn't always be what I saw. She would grow bigger and change.

Sure enough both of my girls have grown and changed everyday. As I look at them now I am so appreciative and feel so blessed that they are healthy! Perhaps that is why I feel conflicted of using the term "grieving". However I do miss those days, the baby/toddler days. The days where it was eat, change, play, sleep, repeat:)

The days where they brought me book after book to read to them, now they just read on their own.

The days where they would tug at my hand and lead me to the door to go outside, now they just come in and out on their own.

The days when we went for stroller and wagon rides and now they zoom past me on our walks with their bikes or scooters and I have to tell them to stop so I can catch up.

The days when I had to cut everything into tiny bites and now they can cut their own food (mostly) and feed themselves.

Even the days when they needed me to give them a clean diaper and now not only do they use the bathroom themselves they even change the toilet paper roll.

The list goes on. Don't get me wrong I enjoy their independence (for the most part:)). I love that Kaylee likes to clean her room and puts her own clothes away. I love that Ainsley is a free spirit and has the courage to do whatever she sets her mind to. I love each new chapter and watching them grow and figure things out.

But with each new chapter another closes. Each new chapter puts us farther away from the first. Each new chapter will find them more and more independent and more things on my list that have changed. It's life, it's exciting and I'm blessed.

I look at my parents, and Brad's, the grandparents if you will, and I see them experiencing all of the above a second time over with their grandchildren. I wonder how they feel about those closed chapters. I see how they enjoy the new chapters and keeps me excited and eases the pain when closing a chapter.

So maybe "Grieving" isn't listed in Webster's as what I've described above, but it's how I interpret it and how I feel. I love the newness but I so miss some of those old days and stages. They are cherished memories. They are days I reflect on. They are days that have shaped me and filled some empty places in my heart. They were challenging days and some days that I thought would never end. They have been scary days and they have been perfect days.

I grieve for those days, I treasure those days and I look forward to the next day. I know each new chapter brings to close another chapter and it fills me with pride, happiness, excitement and grief. Perhaps this is the  circle of life?

This group of ladies have been friends of mine since Jr. high school. That's a long time!! We have been through boyfriends, girl fights, break-ups and make-ups, school dances and activities, graduations, getting married, having babies and other random triumphs and defeats. We have children the same ages, or close to it, and are fortunate to still live close enough to see each other often. We have a standing GNO dinner each month, although there's usually one or two missing from dinner to dinner.

We decided to have a Girlcation and we headed to Galena for the weekend. Although there were a couple of girls that couldn't make it:( we still managed to have some fun! We hung out, got some sun, did some shopping, sang some karaoke (well a lot of Karaoke because there wasn't a lot of people in the bar that night:)), some even got a tattoo (or two:)). We had such fun! Fun reminiscing and talking about our families, coming up with plans to help us survive when our kids become the age we all were when we became friends and our latest triumphs and defeats.

While we may have made some questionable choices along the way and gotten into some mischief we could always count on each other. What I can hope for my girls is they will be as blessed as me to find their own group of amazing ladies to grow-up with and lean on, learn from and laugh with.

Thanks for a great weekend girls!!!

Summer Fun

I can't believe that summer is coming to a close and school will be starting in a week! We have had lots of fun over the summer and have kept ourselves pretty busy.

We have been fishing in Mee-Maw and Paw-Paw's pond.

It's been a hot summer! We have spent our fair share on hanging out doing indoor activities during these dog days of summer:).

We decorated a float for Kaylee's Brownie Troop and rode on it in the annual Towanda 4th of July parade.

We went to cheer Daddy on at the annual Park to Park Run on the 4th of July.

We also cheered on Karen!

While cheering on our runners we hung out with Megan and Owen and took some fun photos.

Brownie girls getting ready for the parade!

Spent some time with our BFF's.

Helped throw a shower for Uncle Brandon and his soon to be wife Nichole.

Spent some time on the slip-n-slide.

Ate some lunch on Grandpa's lap with a cousin.

Slid down Mee-Maw's slide into her peanut pool.

Swam in the pond with a sister and a dog.

Took a walk with a sister to see what else could be found around the pond.

We have also taken Baking class, Craft class, went to Mexico, played T-Ball, went to Day Camp, saw some movies, went to Indy and Chicago, took swim lessons, did lots of swimming in pools to practice our lessons, went to parks, ate lots of ice cream and popsicles and lots of other fun activities. We still have some sweet summer time left and we will continue to fill that time with more fun moments!

Mexico 2012

Last September we went to Mexico to the Secrets Silversand, adults only, all inclusive resort. We loved it. This year as we started to plan my Mom's 60th birthday trip my Mom decided she wanted to go to an all inclusive. Since Brian and I had both been to the Secrets Silversand and loved it we knew it would be a great choice to take Mom. So in June we headed back down to Mexico to celebrate our Mama in style!

Here is Brad and I before dinner one night.

The first day there it was raining off and on as a tropical storm was passing through. So a lot of people were hanging out indoors. One of the things they did to entertain people was have this lady who walked around and did coffee drinks which she set on fire first. They were tasty though!

A photo of all of us. I think this was our last dinner there. We ate at the outdoor restaurant that sits over the pool.

My Mama, Sarah and I

My Mom and Sarah swimming with the dolphins. Brian and I got that as a gift for Mom for her birthday.

 Sarah and I with our favorite entertainment staff member Jorge! We had so much fun with him in September and were so glad that he was still there in June!

The boys in the pool. This is where they spent most of their days!

Sarah and I at dinner.

The boys and Mom with a mariachi band in the background. 

Sarah and I poolside.

We let the resort know it was Mom's birthday and each day there was a banner outside her door and each evening a bottle of champagne and fun desserts were in her room. So we would have a glass before dinner.

Mom and her adorable children:)

Another photo of her adorable children:)

Sarah and I at Xel-ha.

We had a great trip! Lots of fun, laughter, snorkeling, swimming, tanning, eating, entertainment and just celebrating our wonderful Mama!!! She is such a blessing and does so much for all of us. It was so nice to have this trip and these memories with her. Happy Birthday, Mama!!